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Diary:

"Life is essentially a cheat and its conditions

are those of defeat; the redeeming things are not happiness

and pleasure but the deeper satisfactions that come out of struggle."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

I sip pills through a large and shallow straw. Tasting the bitterness as it slides down my throat.

There is no way of knowing what these pills will do.

There is no denying my own self destructive nature.

I hope you can except this heartfelt apology, for the person I am.

I am sorry, to you...

Apologies come with a price though...

They come with guilt, and heartache, they come with a whole knew set of problems. Like me.

I deny everything and everyone sometimes, and let them in on occasion like a sliver of warm light on a chilly afternoon. I bask in their greatness, and wish I could know the full sunshine before I shut it all out again.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray.. gray, gray, gray.... like now. like an eternity of shades from ivory to darkness.

I am sick, everyday filled with a sickness, there aint no cures for what I got. I got heartache and their aint no cure for that but time...

Time aint one thing I got, I got seconds until the end and an abbreviated time frame is like a spastic movement in the dark.

You're bound to hurt somebody...

ENTRY 5- You're bound to hurt somebody